Overcoming Depression in the First Trimester - Lynzy & Co.

Overcoming Depression in the First Trimester

A topic that isn’t talked about enough.

Depression in pregnancy.

I have (thankfully) never dealt with depression other than when related to hormonal changes of pregnancy and the post partum period but having gone through a really rough couple of months, I wanted to open up about it here because I believe so many others feel the same but don’t want to come forward about it. I am writing this in hopes of helping just one other person navigate their way through growing another life….

Overcoming Depression in the First Trimester

My first pregnancy was relatively uncomplicated and I actually seemed to regulate my hormones relatively well throughout the 1st, 2nd and 3rd trimesters. Once Liv was born however, things were a bit different. We had trouble breastfeeding for weeks, she was jaundice for 8 weeks and it led me to think I wasn’t the best mother I could be. Obviously, this thinking was beyond ridiculous but those were my feelings at the time and I became depressed for quite some time. On top of this was the nonstop colicky crying that encompassed our every evening from around 3 pm until 11/12. It was very, very, very tough to deal with and I shiver thinking back to those months. However, I made it out of those tough months with the help of close friends and family.

My second pregnancy was different than the first. The hormones hit me so hard in the first trimester that I swore I would never become pregnant again. Deep depression set in and honestly, I have absolutely NO idea why. We prayed for that second baby and she was our rainbow baby. But instead of elated, I was completely and utterly torn apart and depressed. It’s a very frustrating, helpless feeling ad I don’t wish it upon my worst enemy. It was hard for me to get out of bed and care for another child when all I wanted to do was sulk and sit in bed all day long. Thankfully the second I hit my second trimester, these feelings completely lifted and I was able to feel that happiness that I was longing to feel for so many months.

Now. This third time, has been my hardest. Both physically and emotionally. I was so excited with the hopes of conceiving a third miracle and once we found out we were pregnant I was ecstatic. So happy to be growing our family by one more….

That is until I hit about 6 weeks. I started becoming very ill. So nauseous that it was hard to keep myself upright. I never had the relief of vomiting (except for a few times, in which case I actually felt better) but mostly have been suffering from debilitating nausea. Worse than my previous two pregnancies for sure. But worse than that? The emotional aspect of the first trimester. I could not get myself out of the deep dark hole that I sat in on a daily basis. Constant thoughts of fear and darkness for no reason at all. I couldn’t be happy about anything in my life, even though I have everything I could have ever wanted for my life (and more).

There were days when I didn’t think I could make it through a day. I wished away each day, waiting for the next in hopes of feeling better. I’ve never in my life felt this way and in hind sight, it would have probably been worth it to see someone but I didn’t want to start medications and since I had a small taste of this with the last pregnancy, I wanted to wait it out.

I exercised as much as I could (2-3 times per week) and it honestly was the only thing that made my feel better, both mentally and physically. Now that I am here at 16 weeks, I can tell you that my nausea has lifted somewhat (although still debilitating at times) and my emotional being is in a much better place. I am able to wake up in the morning and have positive thoughts on tackling the day and I feel so absolutely blessed to be carrying another miracle within my womb.

Through my darkest days I always held onto the tiniest glimmer of hope. As long as you can find this glimmer of hope in each and every day, I truly believe that you can make it through anything. This glimmer can be in the form of a person, a thought, or a place. Something that is promising and allows you to feel like you have something to hang on to. Even for just a moment <3

This post is for those of you currently struggling with depression. Whether you’re pregnant, or not, I hope that this post gives you some hope.

I hope it gives you someone to relate to.

I hope it gives you someone you know you can talk to.

Coming forward and letting just one person know about the way you feel can be freeing. If you feel to need to talk to someone, know that you can talk to me. Even if we are strangers….

“Character cannot be developed in ease and quiet. Only through experience of trial and suffering can the soul be strengthened, ambition inspired, and success achieved.” — Helen Keller

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  1. You are amazing. Thank you for being so open and honest about such an important topic. Pregnancy and birth is so utterly amazing and a new little life is such a blessing, people often forget what a strain it can put on the mother, mentally and physically.
    I wish you tons of rest, healing and strength with your beautiful family!
    xoxo

    1. I’m in my first trimester and I’m struggling with depression bad right now. I feel nauseous all day and miserable. Hoping that it gets better soon.

      1. it will get better, I am just passing my 12 weeks now and unlike my first pregnancy, now the nausea is gone and the sadness too. I actually was feeling worried about feeling so great every day. Hang it there sister, sending you loving light.

      2. I am 7 weeks 2 days into my third pregnancy and I am becoming depressed. I’m nauseous but not only that I started a new job and I hate it. So I believe this brought on the negative thoughts and they’ve just spiraled out of control. I hate the weekends because it will bring fourth the week to begin. My 4 year old tries to give me happy juice. I am very appreciative for my life but right now it feels so dark.

        1. Starting my 8th week 1st pregancy and in a weird way it is nice to see I am not the only one. I know what you mean about how you are feeling and work. I thought maybe it was another panic attack (I had one when I first started my new job in October) but it feels more like the aftermath of one. The depression.

          Reading this story, I am hoping, will help and remind me it WILL be better. And you will be happy again.

      3. I am feeling the same. Let’s have hope that we will feel better soon. I don’t feel like I can tell anyone because I wanted this so bad. My husband doesn’t understand. Going to zumba helps, and I may make an appointment with a pregnancy counselor. I hope you feel better soon.

        1. I am 5 weeks and so depressed. I am already on medication as I’ve struggled in the past or I can’t imagine how it would be. I feel like the worst mom to my almost three year old. I feel lazy and short tempered. My husband just complains about how tired work makes him. Im scared this will last the whole pregnancy. I feel so guilty that I’m not happy.

          1. I feel the same way. I am 4 weeks and so incredibly depressed. I am a stay at home mom to my almost 3 year old daughter. I didn’t have depression during my daughters pregnancy. Just nausea the whole 9 months. I feel like I’m in the depths of such a dark place. Crying all the time. This is so hard.

    2. Thank you for sharing this. I’m in my first trimester now and have never felt so utterly depressed. Feel like I’m losing my mind. It’s good to know I’m not alone!

      1. El, I am going through the same thing right now. I am 7 weeks along, and am struggling so much with nausea, lethargy and depression. I feel so alone, but it helps to read others’ experiences as yours. How are you these days?

        1. Hi Nadia,
          Have you been able to work through it all? I have been working but finding it difficult as regularly crying and feeling like I am lying to myself as I am pretending to smile and try to be positive. Would be interested to hear how you are managing?x

  2. I couldn’t love this more. This is such an important (and sadly, overlooked) topic. I’ve struggled with depression and anxiety my entire life and being pregnant hasn’t helped it at all. I’m now 27 weeks along and the first 20ish were incredibly hard on me. Like you, this baby was very much planned and wanted and my husband and I were both so unbelievably happy when I got the positive pregnancy test. But the first half was so hard for me. Granted, it came at the same time as we were moving cross-country (3,000 miles away from family) and things like that, so it was already a stressful time for us. But it was a really rough few months and I found that not a whole lot of people really understood. I felt like I wasn’t even “allowed” to complain because my pregnancy has been so smooth and easy. But mentally, I was miserable. I still have days here and there where I struggle, but I’m now finally at a point where I’m excited and settled into our new home and really ready to embrace being a mom and adding to our family. My work outs and continuing to eat healthy have been the biggest help to me in staying balanced and feeling good so I’m hoping the rest of my pregnancy goes just as smoothly 🙂

    1. I am on my first trimrster and I cry uncontrollably for no reason some days. How do you deal with it. I try to isolate myself and cry alone so my partner won’t see me. He too gets sad to see me crying. He doesn’t know what to do. I feel isolation doesn’t help at all. At times I talk to women in my family to find support. I exercise 2 or 3 times a week too, but I don’t notice too much help from exercise. I try to eat healthy as much as possible.

      1. I am in my first trimester, I’m about 6 weeks, and I can’t believe how down I’m feeling. I have a good support system, great husband, am working out three to four times a week. I’m trying to “fake it til I make it” but I feel like I’m swimming upstream. Not sure if this makes sense but I’m scared this is going to get worse. And going through it in front of my husband makes it worse. Please say this got better for you?!

    2. It was refreshing to hear your story. I’m in my first trimester (3rd baby) and I’ve had depression to the max. Don’t want to get out of bed, not only exhausted physically but emotionally even more. I’m crying all the time over I DONT EVEN KNOW WHAT. Like you said , I’m going to try and hold on to hope and faith…because without it… I have nothing. Thank you for sharing your story. I’m glad I’m not alone.

  3. Thank you for so much for posting this. I am pregnant with my second, not planned, my first isn’t even a year old yet and although I was sick with my first with the same dibilitating neausea you spoke about until 16 weeks, mentally I was excited and knew I would get over the hump soon. This time though is so different. I’ve still been insanely neausous and I’m in the thick of it at 11 weeks, but because we were so surprised with this news, I haven’t been able to have it fully sink in and get excited about it. My husband is an optimist who says, “well think of all the people who are having trouble, this is great news and we’ll be done after this” which then makes me 1/2 feel guilty and half like of course you’re telling me this you feel fine and your body didn’t just recover from our first baby!!! I feel overwhelmed and anxious and sad and guilty as the weeks go by with my daughter and I am laying lifeless on the sofa battling through these days and weeks. It’s not fair to her and at times I don’t think it’s fair to me either. I really hope to be feeling better soon.

    1. Chelsea, I went through almost exactly the same process- my husband even reacted very similarly. My first son was 15 months old when I found out that I was pregnant with number 2. They are 23 months apart which was WAY too close for comfort but I used my pregnancy as a time to work on accepting the situation (much much much easier once I stopped feeling terrible and could focus on eating right and exercising/meditating). How are you doing now?

    2. Reading your posts has just made me feel hope that someone else has been in my position. I had a baby when I was 19 and i naturally took to being pregnant & being a mother. Years later i met my husband and we decided to have a baby luckily we had our baby in March 2017 she’s 6 months old. I found it hard to give up my career for the few months but felt it woukd be the better of us..I have since discovered I’m pregnant again and 11 weeks at that. This was not planned I’m cried for 2weeks .. I’m suffering with morning sickness all day and feel so low nothing excites me. I feel like I’m dragging myself around all day, I’ve lost interest in me, in my husband in the future . I feel so overwhelmed at the idea of having a 1 year old and new baby. We don’t have any help I’m really hoping that in the coming weeks the sickness will lift and I can feel happy and more positive again. I have everything but feel so lonely & disappointed I haven’t caught my breath yet

      1. I am feeling so much better reading everyone’s responses. I have been feeling so sad. I have a beautiful 15 month old and am 8 weeks pregnant. I feel overwhelmed, excited, ungrateful, unappreciated, & so many emotions. I am on the verge of tears all the time. I have a great husband, but everything about him upsets me lately and I just hope it passes. I have never felt like this in my life and I feel like I should be over the moon but instead I am missing out on daily moments because I am wandering in the darkness, which just leads to me feeling worse and the cycle continues. I have so many wonderful blessings and I don’t know how to keep them in the forefront of my mind…. I hope these emotions subside soon. Thank you for posting in the first place and making me feel a little sense of normalcy knowing that others are going through similar things. I am so overwhelmed.

        1. Hi Sarah,

          I am currently 8 weeks with a 15 month old and I could have written your comment about myself. This article and these comments are helping me feel I am not the only one going through this! How are you feeling now? Has the fog lifted for you yet? I am clinging on to the hope it will but it is hard to imagine ever feeling happy about anything again which is such a sorry dark place to be. xx

  4. Thank you for sharing this! I learned so much! I am a new mom and definitely noticed myself feeling down during my first trimester. We planned for this baby and like you mentioned, I know I am truly lucky to live such an amazing life and felt so guilty that I wasn’t happy. I’ve obviously heard of postpartum depression but didn’t know it could occur DURING pregagncy! Thanks for opening my eyes to my own emotional health!

  5. Thank you for sharing. This is my second pregnancy and my rainbow baby. I don’t remember feeling this way with my first but the fear of losing this baby too, add in that we are moving, I’m a full time student and my husband works alot. I just can’t seem to get motivated to do what I enjoy. I have constant nausea and exhaustion but I can’t tell if it’s pregnancy related or not because I already had anxiety before. I’m 7 weeks and don’t have my first appt for 3 weeks so I will talk to my doctor about it. I just hope I can overcome because I want to be happy!

  6. Thank you! I am in week 6 of my first pregnancy and have been frantically googling ‘depression and anxiety during pregnancy’ – like so many others despite our current circumstances not being perfect this pregnancy was planned as we both desperately wanted children and came to a conclusion that there would never be a right time. Depsite initial elation I soon sank down into a spiral of fear and anxiety. Obsessing over how my work will react (just taken on huge new role) how we will cope in our current home, how we will cope financially without my income etc etc. But overall, I just feel overwhelmed with a sense of complete hopelessness and despair. Reading your brave article has given me hope that things will get better. Deep down I know it’s a wonderful gift and it will all work out but it’s hard to see when your in the midst of the fog. Thanks again for sharing and I wish you a happy and healthy life with your babies xxx

  7. It is really comforting to read about your experiences. Thank you for sharing. I’m currently 6 weeks pregnant with my second and it is completely different than my pregnancy the first time around. For one, I’m horribly nauseous and some days can barely get out of bed because I’m so tired. With my son, I remember having some nausea, but I was so happy to be pregnant I didn’t notice it. Now, even though this baby was planned, I am struggling to enjoy the things I usually do. The only thing that makes me feel better is when my son wants to cuddle before bed. That’s what I’m holding on to right now. It’s nice to know there are other women struggling with this. My first dr appointment is in a week so I plan to discuss it with my doctor. I just hope this depression lifts in the second trimester so I can start feeling as excited as I know I am deep down.

  8. Thank you everyone for sharing! I’m 6weeks pregnant( planned), glad I found this page. My hole life I struggled feeling depression and high anxiety. 8 weeks ago I started to talk and deal with it all for the first time ever. The last 6 weeks have been the deepest darkest feelings I have ever felt. The feelings of “why can’t I feel happiness” and ” I won’t make it through the day” fills my day. It’s nice to hear I’m not alone. I hope it gets better soon. I wrote on my while board on the fridge ,” PRAY, LOTS OF WATER, WALK/YOGA, NO SUGAR” definitely helps. Thanks everyone.

  9. Thank you so much for sharing your story. It makes me feel like I am not crazy for feeling the way I do. I am pregnant with my first child and the changes I am going through in the first trimester have me very depressed. I have gained 20 pounds, I have no energy, and I am very emotional (crying, upset, etc). I need to get back into the habit of exorcise as that was the only thing that made me feel better as well. I get depressed thinking that every day I wake up I will be throwing up and not feeling well. It doesn’t make you have a good outlook. I am 9 weeks today only 3 more weeks left in this trimester and I pray I get some relief. I relate to this post in so many ways and I am grateful for you sharing.

  10. Like so many others said, this post is a gift to me tonight. I literally googled “depression in first trimester of pregnancy does it get better” and your post was the first thing that came up. I’m almost 8 weeks into my second pregnancy and have had that debilitating nausea for both pregnancies. But this one, wow, the depression has hit me like a semi truck. My overwhelming feeling is how will I ever get through the next 7 months?! The days seem everlasting but I am trying to focus on today only and making it through today. Knowing that others have experienced this gives me even one tiny glimmer of hope for today. Thank you for your candid honesty and creating a space to open the discussion about this. Thanks for taking away a little bit of the loneliness.

    1. Hi Christina!

      I am so sorry to hear that you are experiencing this. I promise that it gets better as time progresses! If you ever need anything, please reach out to me whenever you need to! 🙂

  11. Hi,
    Thank you for sharing:)
    I have gone through 3 miscarriages this past year, my first one being at almost 5 months along. I too went through a similar experience each time. Feelings of being so blessed, elated, grateful, peaceful, and then around 6 or 7 weeks this discomfort, rage, fear, wanting to run away, feeling like my life will be awful, that I will fail my child. It becomes so strong that at times I could just lie down and not move, feeling it overcome my whole body. I feel like a different person, disconnected from my heart, which is so confusing because it is normally what my heart wants so much. The added experience of recurring miscarriage does not help my fear of course.
    I feel a baby closely now again which is always such a beautiful time, I just want to feel more balanced somehow. I have never progressed through this phase in my pregnancies so that is my only experience and I have not felt that transition through it and emerging from it yet, so when I am deep in it I have little hope it will change, although as you said, I grasp onto whatever hope there is. The hardest part is that my husband is my best friend and I want to completely isolate myself and this becomes such a hard time for us, he struggles with it a lot. I will keep trying different things, meditate a lot, move in ways that feel good, lots of self-care. My love goes out to all the women going through this as I know how dark it can get, may we hold each other lovingly in these moments, know we are not alone, and find comfort in connecting and sharing xox

  12. BabyCentre

    From May 2018 Birth Club

     

    Prenatal Depression

    GemWilliams · you!

    Hide original post 

    Last edited 03/10/2017

    I’ve been wanting to write this for a little while but been to afraid I suppose. I think that I have prenatal depression. I made an appt to see my GP at 11:00am today. I’m 9 weeks. Terrified but I think it’s something that I have to do. I have a history of clinical depression and during my last pregnancy 2 years ago I was prescribed Citalopram. I stopped taking them almost a year ago, purely because they were not on a repeat prescription and because of my working shifts being so erratic I couldn’t always get to my GP to order them then collect a few days later. I would end up with weeks in between.

    This baby number 2 was very much wanted and planned. I discussed my history of depression with my midwife at my booking appt and she advised me to go back to my GP and ask to be prescribed some meds again if I felt like I was going down a similar road. That was almost a month ago. 

    Now for the past 3 weeks I’ve had the most awful time. 3 weeks off work with a chest infection. Prescribed antibiotics then steroids, still wouldn’t go. Felt awful. Then all of a sudden started with nausea and vomiting which is totally new to me. Didn’t have a day of sickness with my son. Over the last week I’ve been feeling lower and lower. No joy, no happiness. Just total and utter dread about having a second baby. I feel like a black cloud has descended upon me. I feel like my bond with my son has suddenly been broken and I can’t look after him. I feel like the world’s worst mother and I don’t deserve children. I can’t sleep. Literally having panic attacks at nighttime. When I do sleep I’m plagued by nightmares. Last night I had 2 hours of deep sleep. Woke up in tears from a nightmare that I had hit my son. Cried so much that I couldn’t sleep and saw the sun come up. 

    I’ve tried to pass this off as hormones but I think it’s a bit more than that? I remember crying a lot in my first trimester last pregnancy. I remember it as being very bleak and crying a lot. Being quite confused. Then my mood lifting into the second trimester. But back then I was taking antidepressants. 

    I’m terrified of what will happen with work. Yesterday was my first day back after 3 weeks. I felt on the verge of tears all day and knew that I would need to see my GP. I don’t have a mum or sisters or anything, therefore, tried to confide in one of my managers. I told her that I would like some time to see my GP because I was afraid that I’m suffering prenatal depression and she laughed and me and told me that it doesn’t even exist. She said pregnancy is the happiest time of your life and she should know, she has 3 sons.  Well I felt as small as my thumb and spent my entire lunch break in tears in the toilet. Surely it does exist. My midwife said that I was at risk of it. 

    I’ve actually been talking to my husband about a termination just to make these feelings stop. As I said previously this baby was very much wanted and planned. I wouldn’t be saying that in my normal frame of mind. Praying this will lift xx

    1. Hang in there, Gem. Prenatal depression is absolutely real and your coworker should not have laughed at you for it just because she never experienced it herself. She probably just doesn’t know it exists. I am 10 weeks and can hardly get up in the morning from feelings of sadness and dread, not to mention the nausea, fatigue, headaches, and constantly upset stomach. I have a toddler also so I’m so guilty that during the week I’m working a demanding job and on the nights and weekends all I have the energy to do is lay on the couch. A good friend of mine just went through the same thing and hers lifted around 16-18 weeks so I’m just hoping for that. The advice in this article really helps – try to find a glimmer of hope or something you enjoy each day even if it is super small. I’m trying to not feel guilty and just be kind to myself to get through this. Be strong!

  13. I am about 8 weeks along and the last 3 weeks hit me like a ton of bricks. My pregnancy was planned, my husband and I were very excited and then around 5-6 weeks I started feeling constant nausea but never throwing up. It came right along with the most crippling sadness I’ve ever felt. I found myself laying in bed all day and sleeping as much as possible. My husband tried to comfort me and I feel so guilty I just start sobbing. He has been amazing. Working full time, doing our laundry and cleaning the house. I am usually so clean and so good about house work but I cannot make myself do anything. I feel worthless and lazy. I have major guilt because my 7 year old daughter will have to share my attention in the near future and I want to enjoy my last few months of her being and only child but all I can manage is to try not crying in front of her. I’m not a very good mommy right now. Last week was so bad for me that I had decided to call and ask my doctor for antidepressants this morning. Upon time to call I got so anxious and feel so guilty that I could be doing something to hurt this baby long term I could go through with it and never called. I tell myself I only have to suffer through 7 months but this person could be altered forever by my weakness. I don’t know what to do but I am so grateful to read other people feeling the same way. I’m trying to hold out hope that this stops in my second trimester.

  14. After reading your article, and all of the above comments, I feel so much better. I am not alone!!!! Thank you!!! I googled “depression in 1st trimester” and found this. Thank you for this post! I am 7 wks pregnant with my second- it was planned and we were over the moon, but I don’t remember ever feeling like this when I was pregnant with my first. Maybe two weeks ago I started to feel different- nausea, sadness, exhaustion, crying, distracted at work, disinterested, disengaged, unhappy feeling- really strange for me because I have never felt this way before. I have a wonderful, yet stressful job, an amazingly supportive and engaged husband, and a beautiful healthy & happy toddler. I shouldn’t feel this way. I know that I am blessed. But the truth is that I feel desperate- like a dark cloud is hovering over me. I am not sleeping well, I feel unmotivated & lazy, I have nightmares, and I toss and turn at night with worry about the health of this pregnancy. I am counting the days until my fist OB appt in a few wks to confirm healthy baby- hoping that will ease some of my anxiety and sadness. But I am so happy & relieved to hear that many find that depression lifts in 2nd trimester. Thank you for this, it is very encouraging. If this platform helped me, then it has helped so many others to feel a little less alone during this hormonal & emotional time. If I don’t feel better in the next few months, I will definitely be seeking help, and others should too- there is nothing to be ashamed of. This post & comment thread shows that none of us are “the only one” feeling this way. We need to stop the stigma around mental illness and depression. Do not suffer in silence. Thank you again!!!

  15. Thank you for this post. It’s so nice to see so many of us out there. It’s my first and I don’t think I thought it through. I’m 12 weeks and still can’t feel any connection with the baby. People call it being a magical divine feeling, I literally am failing to look at it that way. Last 2 months have been the worst of my life. I can’t eat, I can’t sleep, I can’t workout, i don’t feel like talking to anyone, I’m losing the ability to be happy. At the moment happiness seems to be a distant memory, and I’m not even sure if this will change to something positive ever. It’s just a very very strange time and I’m losing myself in it 🙁

  16. Thank you for this article. I’m currently 6 weeks and had a bad cold for a week. Today, I didn’t want to get out of bed and had thoughts of feeling incapable of taking care of another human being if I, myself can’t even get out of bed. In September, I had a miscarriage at 6 weeks 4 days. I was on effexor for at least 9 years for anxiety and depression…it worked wonders but have been off it for 2 months. I so badly want to just go back on it but don’t want to harm the baby. I am luckily off work for xmas break and can just lay around but I don’t have any motivation to do anything. Praying we all get through these feelings of depression together.

  17. So glad to come across your blog. I’m 6 weeks and 3 days and have just been so depressed since becoming pregnant. I’ve been crying all the time, and just feeling very empty and a bit lost, nothing is giving me enjoyment, apart from exercise its my only time out, I feel normal then then it starts straight back up again afterwards. I’m very glad to hear it might lift in the second trimester, I’ve been thinking there is something wrong with me, we were so excited when we found out and I’ve just felt awful since. We’ve been arguing also which hasn’t helped but I think that is because I’ve been hard work to be honest but only because I have no control over my hormones and moods its been just terrible! We had a good chat last night so I’m hoping things feel a bit better now, I just feel very alone even though I’m not ever does that make any sense? Its a really horrible feeling and I can’t wait for it to go away!! Thank you so much for writing this up, I feel a whole load better. xxx

  18. Thank you for this . I stumbled upon this article while googling depression during pregnancy . I already suffer from ptsd and went through a year and a half of severe dissociation and depression . I am pregnant with my first child and the depression is out of control . I’m feeling suicidal and I’m very afraid of post pardom depression. That part u wrote about that tiny hint of hope helped me because I would always tell myself that when I was very sick , I’d say I haven’t lost myself completely, I still have that 1% of hope and I survived . Thank you for sharing your story . You’re amazing

  19. I too wanted to become pregnant for years and when it finally happened it was exciting gor the first week or two then i hit 6 weeks pregnant and it was like the world was stacked against me. We made too much to qualify for insurance help or medicaid but too little to pay for it on our own. Couple that with finding out 5 days after insurance enrollment period ends it was suddenly a strain.
    Then the depression not sadness just not feeling anything set in. I feel almost like i cant mention it or complain because i should be so happy. I finally had to say something to ny husband but now feel even worse and almost ungrateful to of said something. I just pray it goes away as im just past halfway through my 1st trimester. God help me, i just wanna be happy!

  20. This is exactly how I’m feeling with my 3rd pregnancy right now. Some days I’ll feel somewhat okay, but the nausea makes my what I guess is feelings of depression worst. I’m 7 weeks and it’s just been awful. I feel like there’s no light at the end of the tunnel some days. It feels totally different on an emotional scale from my last two pregnancies. I’m really glad to have read this story and it makes me feel a lot less alone. I’m just waiting for the day I feel like myself again, that’s been the hardest for me, not feeling like me.

  21. Thank you. I really thought I was all alone. This is my third pregnancy and I have never had emotions or lack thereof like this in my life. The constant crying, irritable, no motivation for anything. I have a 2 and 3 yr old and really want to be a good mom again. I’m 8 weeks along and I’m hoping the light is at the end of the tunnel. Weird that I have never heard of depression during pregnancy, but obviously it exists. Thanks again to all of you.

  22. I’m hoping there’s been some relief for the majority of ladies commenting on the forum? I’m 8 weeks pregnant and never felt worse. The nausea has been crippling though I coped last time, this time I certainly have depression on top, feeling helpless and daunted by the thought of another child when my eldest is 18. Being an older mum I fear being too tired to give my full attention to a baby.

  23. Hello ladies…I am 8 weeks pregnant and I feel so bad as I can relate to other posts..initially I was feeling I am the one alone and whatever happening to me is not good..I am feeling so depressed…unhappy…nauseous…sad…weak…stressed…and feel like my life has stopped…there is no hope..I have a fear that whether this will stop or continue

  24. Hi ladies,

    Thank you so much for your honesty, bravery, and personal stories. As I read each comment, I am sobbing. I am 9.5 weeks with my first pregnancy, and have felt so lonely and unrelatable. It wasn’t until tonight that I realized just how deep these feelings run. I feel blindsided by these first trimester symptoms. I have been so sick since week 6; awful nausea, vomiting, fatigue, many food aversions. I cannot eat, and I barely feel human. I am miserable. I have no interest in anything. On a daily basis, I am conflicted by feelings of, “why am I this sad?” And “do I really want this?” This baby was planned, but I am struggling with celebrating this miracle. Everyday feels like a struggle, and I am in survival mode. I am hopeful that my situation will improve, and I am grateful for reading this thread.

  25. Is anxiety curable? I’ve been getting treatment for years and I still get bad symtoms
    sometimes. I would appreciate any insight you can provide.

  26. Hello ladies, It’s heartbreaking to read all your struggles yet gives me some hope that there are women who are going through it all for bringing a life to this world. Kudos to your bravery!
    My sister-in-law is 10 weeks pregnant. At her 4th week of pregnancy she had all the symptoms of antenatal depression. She has been on antidepressants as her condition is quite crippling – she is unable to carry out her daily activities plus flooded with recurrent suicidal thoughts. We have consulted gynae, psychiatrist, psychologists and yet her condition doesn’t seem to improve. Considering she was more than excited to get pregnant, it’s gut-wrenching to see her suffer every single moment. She is spiraling down in her depression and now pleads for abortion. We are in a fix. Is there hope at all?

  27. Thank you so much for sharing this post. I have had a similar trajectory, 1st pregnancy pretty smooth sailing, 2nd was tough and now I am in my 1st trimester with my 3rd and feel utterly useless and unable to find joy. On top of that I’m down on myself for feeling this way when I have so many wonderful things in my life. At first the nausea seemed to be the worse part but now I think it’s my emotional state, I just feel blah, no happiness, no crying just empty. With my second child I had similar feelings in the first trimester and it did get better in the second trimester. I wish all the moms struggling through this some peace and hope that this is temporary and we will get to the other side of it.

  28. Too down to write much but thank you all for sharing. It means the world to me. 7 weeks and in the deepest depression. Anxiety, nausea so bad I can barely swallow and could sleep 16 hours a day if I didn’t have my 7yo. Waiting for the light but hopeless that it’ll ever come.

  29. Wow, this is exactly what I have been looking for. I thought for sure something was wrong with me for feeling this way. My SO and I have been trying to get pregnant for 6 months now. We got a positive test, and I know I should be celebrating but I feel so sad. I cannot help to feel empty and hollow. Getting up in the morning and facing the day seems impossible. I feel like I could stay in bed all day. My SO told me the other day that he has never seen this side of me. I feel like I cannot explain to him truly how I feel. It is so great to have a community here where women can discuss this.

    Thank you!

  30. I’m in my 6 th week and this is my third pregnancy. I am feeling so depressed that I feel it’s unwanted baby. I keep telling this to my husband and feels nothing good left for me in life. Even I am scared that I cannot handle this pregnancy like last two.

  31. I so appreciate everyone sharing their feelings. I am pregnant with my second and am struggling daily. I feel so down and then feel so guilty for feeling down. I’m praying for relief in the second trimester.

  32. Thank you so much for this, this gives me
    Hope and also I feel like I am not alone in this. I am 8 weeks with my first pregancy and didn’t know what to expect. My partner left me 4 days before I found out I was pregnant and I am still on my own. I feel like that is the reason why my mood is so low , this baby was planned and in my heart I am so so happy, but this low mood is just blocking me from enjoying my pregancy. I feel guilty and I hope it is not going to affect the baby in any way. I just never imagined going through with on my own with no partner x

  33. I feel like this at the moment. I’m 10 weeks with my first child, very much planned and wanted, but have had morning sickness since 7 weeks which has triggered major anxiety and depression. I can barely get out of bed some days, crying every day, reading news articles about people who died my first thought is “I wish that was me”. I haven’t been able to work for the past six days because the thought of going to work makes me so anxious. I was already taking antidepressants and have been told to increase the dosage but I don’t think it’s kicked in yet.

  34. I always feel my self too lazy but when i see my books infornt of me i think that today i will do some study but after some time my head is paining and i sleep so what should i do to preparemy self for studies

  35. You described what I’m feeling perfectly. I’m sicker than ever and more down than ever. This is my third and we prayed for this baby. My husband is frustrated but trying to be patient with his completely different wife! I’m embarrassed to see people because normally I am the cheerful one and bring others up. I feel isolated and lonely in this. I’m 11 weeks. Thank you for sharing. The hope of the second trimester setting me in a better mental place is my hope. I feel like I’m just buckling down for the next few weeks.

  36. On my 8 week first baby and no one ever prepared me for this, the extreme constipation,every smell is disgusting can only stomach things I crave to eat which most of the time are extremely out of reach, as for energy if I manage to leave my bed and shower I had a good day…I work casual and can’t be bothered to pick shifts.,….Still on the can’t tell anyone about it phase so I can only talk to my partner, at first I felt like I’m just complaining too much with the depression thing but after finding these sent the screenshots already it’s real…

  37. it’s shame more husbands aren’t reading this and posting.

    my own wife is getting hammered by everything you’ve written about: nausea, depression, fatigue, weakness, vomiting and more. in our case, we had a series of miscarriages and then, years later, an IVF treatment for this pregnancy. the baby is developing well but my wife is unrecognizable: her personality has changed; she’s impatient and angry frequently, perhaps because of the hormones that i’m injecting her with twice a day; we have little to no affection or intimacy; she cannot tolerate much touching of any kind; she sleeps in a different room; much of what i say or do is misunderstood even though i’m trying like mad to be there for her and do what needs to be done for us.

    i feel like i’ve lost my wife. i don’t mean that jokingly. i am, actually, mourning the loss of the relationship i used to have with her up until about a month ago when the morning sickness began. i used to have a life partner, but she is unable to show up for that right now. it’s too hard. and i get that. but it’s important for other men to know that this stuff happens. i’ve found it incredibly disorienting, emotionally challenging, and downright maddening. and the one person i want to share this with and process with CANNOT do so. she is physically, emotionally unable to do so.

    men need to find a way to find, build and use their own support system during this time as well. otherwise, we can end up making the problem worse, which i feel that i’ve done through no fault of my own.

  38. I feel so much better after reading this and knowing I’m not alone. I am 5 weeks pregnant with my first, and I have never felt so sad in my life. I have a loving husband and family, and we just moved into our first house, so everything is perfect on paper. I have never struggled with depression in the past, but now I feel completely unmotivated, calloused, sad, crying constantly, and when my husband excitedly talks about parenthood, I shut down. I didn’t expect to feel this way at all. I thought I would be glowing and feel fulfilled as a woman. But I feel like a self conscious failure that is already letting my family down. I hope the fog lifts soon because I’m usually a really happy person. I don’t know who this version of me is, and I feel like my husband is discouraged that I’m not as excited as he is. Hoping for a better second trimester.

  39. Glad I found this article because I feel so alone, currently 9 weeks pregnant, first pregnancy so excited first 6 weeks, but now I’m depressed out of nowhere, sleepless nights, nauseated all the time and just feeling like a failure, falling out with people at work, worried all the time.

    I wasn’t prepared for this as I’d imagined pregnancy to be so different! I should be happy as we have so much to look forward to getting married just after the baby is born, but all of a sudden I’m worried about money, my security at work with hours decreasing on a 0 hour contact so not looking good for maternity pay and was in the middle of looking for a house to buy with my fiancé and not stuck in a one bed flat. His family don’t care, won’t be attending the wedding and haven’t even bothered to bat an eyelid at the news of his moms very first grandchild, niece/nephew.. for no good reason other than pride and selfishness.

    I just thought I would be able to provide so much more for our family and I’m usually so much more positive and proactive x

  40. I feel like I don’t even have a right to be posting here because to start with, I wasn’t even sure if I wanted to be a mother. My partner and I have been together 8 years and he always told me he wanted at least one child. I never felt that way but I always thought my mind would change as I got older. Well, older came (32) and not much has changed. It was a deal breaker for our relationship and I almost thought I would have to walk away because of my feelings about a child but ultimately, I couldn’t leave my soulmate. With that said, we started trying to have a baby. After two years, nothing. We even started dabbling with a fertility specialist. We didn’t get far before I started getting really freaked out so we stopped trying in January. Then boom, pregnant in March. I had just started wrapping my head around being ok with the pregnancy – we are very financially stable, I know he will be a wonderful father…not to mention he is very supportive of my depression (pre-pregnancy). Well, the next boom – TWINS. I am totally lost. I feel like the universe is trying to sabotage me. Aside from being so scared and unhappy about twins, I had to stop my antidepressants and I am in a really bad place. Let’s not forget the regular pregnancy crap of being nauseated all of the time, having no appetite for anything…I’m totally and completely miserable. I’m 12 weeks and I cannot crawl out of this hole. I don’t even have the ability to fall back on “eventually, it will be the thing you hoped and prayed for”, the thing most women who get pregnant and can’t wait to be a mother say. I don’t know if I’ll ever see that light at the end of tunnel.

    1. My dear, I don’t know you but I know you are a fighter. While I haven’t reached that moment of relief in my first trimester, I know that you will having come so far already. We’re all in this together. Remember that.

    2. I am 12 weeks as well and thought that my symptoms should be getting better but they seem to have just started in the last few weeks. I have only had one episode of anxiety/depression about a year ago that really sucked the life out of me. I was on Prozac but got off a few months before getting pregnant. Although I did want this pregnancy I feel all the same things you do. I have a great life and wonderful partner but now I am so scared to be a mom and don’t know if I am ready. I guess I feel that way because I can’t imagine feeling this way and taking care of a kid when I barely can keep it together for work. I am sure adding the Twin factor in is even more scary for you. I have talked to my doctor about how I feel and if all else fails, they will allow you to go back on your antidepressant. For you, I think that you can hold on to the fact that instincts and natural maternal love will kick in once you have your twins and that you wouldn’t want life any other way. I know that is so easy to say and so hard to feel because I can’t even feel that for myself. But just reading everyone’s posts here, it seems so common to have all these worries regardless of if the baby was planned or not. At 12 weeks it is still early and so I keep telling myself to not feel guilty about not feeling what I thought I would so I give you that same advice. You have many months to have your mood improve, your desire to mother, and your joy to come to you. Hang in there.

  41. Hi everyone,

    What a source of comfort this sharing is. I am 7 weeks along, and so paralyzed in my sadness and shock of nausea and vomiting (multiple times a day), along with super strong smell sensitivity and tiredness. I feel stuck in molasses and unable to move or do anything remotely functional. I had a miscarriage last year so am afraid my suffering right now might affect things, but I talk to baby letting it know mama is trying to adjust and wants you to be here.

    Any advice on coping with work when in this dark place?

  42. 9 weeks today and feeling so awful I have barely been able to get out of bed for the past 3 weeks. It definitely helps to learn my thoughts and feelings are somewhat natural. Would love to read more about woman that have reached the other side, and when it happened for them. I’ve heard that often after 12 weeks hormones balance out, but I know this isn’t always the case! Not sure I can cope with feeling like this for 9 months… Sending you all lots of love xxx

    1. Hi Georgie, I’m 7 weeks and have had the nausea and exhaustion symptoms for a few weeks already (although I can tell that they are getting worse). What I’m struggling with most is the feeling of dread, depression, the overwhelming feeling that nobody understands and that I look ridiculous (I fear people are just ignoring me because they put all my feelings down to hormones).
      I was interested in what you said about not being able to get out of bed for 3 weeks? Is this the mental or physical side of it? I have had the flu the past week so have had to rest alot, I’m not sure being isolated in my house with just my thoughts for company is helping! X

  43. Hey, is good I inform all the men and guys out there that sometime we all make mistake in our relationship and made our relationship to be broken and is also our responsibility to make it work by seeking for solution to it, I’m very happy today to tell you little of my relationship problem, i cheated once on my wife and she caught me and she was ready to end our marriage because i truly love her i quickly seek for solution to stop her that is when i came across Dr Mack who has help so many people restore their broken marriage and relationship i also contact him today my marriage is restored, I’m going to drop his contact so that does having the same issues can contact him for solution on (dr_mack @ Yahoo. com).